Ninjas don't get sick
by SexyJutsu16
Summary: Team seven goes on a mission. Naruto and Sasuke have low immune systems, a hillbilly on the rampage appears, and Sakura bashing is a given. Could be a Sasuke and Naruto friend fic, or a Sasunaru. However you want it. Don't like, don't read. T for language
1. Mission to the Land of Dirt

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)

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SJ: Fun! Now I get to practice with my typing skizzills!

Turtlewoman: blank stare whistles rolls away on a cheese wheel

SJ: blank stare at disappearing friend slowly turns towards audience awkwardly clears throat Uhh…without further ado, BEGIN!!!

_Cue pop gun_

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Team Seven: 

It is of great importance that you meet me, Kakashi Sensei at the bridge at 6:00 A.M. SHARP tomorrow morning. It appears we have a new mission headed our way. Pack your bags. This is a C-Ranked mission not unlike the first one (which, as you know, turned out to be A-Rank) (Just mentioned that so Naruto wouldn't decide to make this the day he slept in.)

The client is the daughter of a deceased friend of mine, so you best be on good behavior. Her name is Taika, Momo. We will find her house just a couple hours from the outskirts of Konohagure. This is an escort mission, so bringing food is unnecessary (unless you're Naruto. If that is the case, I advise you bring ramen. Lots of it. We won't be having any until we come back to the village.)

Well, Make-out Paradise is sitting precariously on my bookshelf and I feel obliged to save it.

Take care,

Kakashi Sensei

**8:55 A.M. **

**Three Hours Past Meeting Time**

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M LATE FOR THE NEW MISSION!!! AHHHH!!!" Naruto wailed as he removed a cup of stale ramen from under his bed. He normally would've devoured it had there not been the smell of dying animals wafting from its' general direction. He sighed and threw the cup into the trash can. Ramen wasted. He looked around the room for his toaster and bread. As he was searching, the snooze button shot back up and began screaming at him. He jumped at the sound of Sasuke's voice and turned to its' source.

"GET UP DOBE YOU'RE LATE AGAIN!!! GET UP DOBE YOU'RE LATE AGAIN!!! GET UP DOBE YOU'RE LATE AGAIN GET UP DO-" Naruto chucked his alarm clock across the room and sighed irritably (Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke had all chipped in and bought Naruto an alarm clock for his birthday…but not before adding a special alarm message and burning the instructions on shutting the damn thing up).

Well, since he was already late, why not eat a full breakfast before setting out?

As he hobbled over to Ichiraku's Ramen shop, he stopped dead in his tracks. Suddenly all hope of continuation ended and he fell to his knees. Defeated. Before him loomed a sign reading "Closed for repairs". After a few minutes of shock, he recovered himself and remembered the fact that they had C ranked mission that day. Now, normally, a C-ranked mission wasn't something Naruto looked forward to. Unless it included being allowed to leave the village. He didn't know why, but he always found that really, really exciting. Momentarily forgetting his ramen-related grief, he bolted for the team's daily meeting place.

But there was nobody there…

"HELLO??? HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOO????!?!??" Naruto called loudly. _Hmm…that's really weird. Wonder where everyone went…?_

**6:00 A.M. **

**Sasuke's House**

"…two forty-seven…two forty-eight…two forty-nine…twoo fifffttyy…" Sasuke chanted out loud while doing push-ups. _I can't quit…not yet. Naruto can do three-hundred without breaking a sweat. Common' Sasuke. You can do it. _

_BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!_

Startled, Sasuke lost form and fell flat on his face. He scowled at the culprit that halted his training.

The alarm clock.

6:01 A.M.

_Now what am I supposed to be doing?_

He had now brought himself to a sitting position. He scratched his head (A habit he picked up from Naruto).

"The mission!" he exclaimed and bolted for the door.

**6:21 A.M.**

**The Bridge**

There it was. The ritual meeting place for squad seven. As Sasuke ran, it slowly came into view.

And so did a pink-haired, blood-sucking, nail-biting, pathetic looking sorry excuse for a ninja. He stopped and growled. She was running towards him.

Sakura, having noticed Sasuke far before he saw her raised her arms into the air and was running towards him in what seemed to be slow-motion (she feeling as if she was in love and he weighing the possibilities it gave him. Trip her or dodge her. Either way, he would have the satisfaction of watching her eating dirt rather than him). Unfortunately, he didn't have the chance to do either. Kakashi popped out of nowhere in a puff of smoke and found himself tripping Sakura. Sasuke not included.

Unintentionally, of course.

"Err…sorry about that, Sakura. I know you have a lot on your mind (being a girl and all) but we kinda have a mission. So, could you hold off your feminine fantasies for just a little while…?" Sakura's face slowly raised itself from her mud bath. Courtesy of the ground.

"Eh? Kakashi Sensei? You're early." She processed this for a moment and jumped up.

"YOU'RE NOT KAKASHI SENSEI!!! KAKASHI SENSEI IS ALWAYS LATE! YOU'RE ON TIME!!!" she pointed to him accusingly.

In response, Kakashi pointed to his watch.

"Correction, I'm three minutes late." He winked.

"You…you…" Sakura deflated. There was nothing more to say. Her left eye twitched irritably.

"You disgust me."

Kakashi looked around. Either he was ignoring Sakura, or he discovered something important. It proved to be a finely balanced combination of the two.

"Eh…where's Naruto…? He's usually early for things like this…"

"Dobe. He probably forgot to set his alarm again."

Kakashi sighed. On the rare occasion that he was on time (or at least close to it), someone was always late. It never failed. He pointed towards the village gates.

"Let's just go. Naruto will catch up to us once he realizes we're not waiting for him" As he turned to go, he found Sasuke an inch from his face.

"Ehh…Sasuke…? Is something the matter?"

"You know how dense Naruto is. There's no way he'll figure out where we are. You, being the 'responsible adult' you are should wait for him." Kakashi cringed upon hearing the words "responsible" and "adult". Then an idea popped into his head. He mentally patted himself on the back for his quick thinking.

"You're so worried about him. Why don't you wait?" This suggestion was met with the worst glare Sasuke could muster up at the moment. And that glare was pretty nasty.

"Heheheh…" Kakashi laughed mechanically. He slowly inched his hand to Sakura's arm and took off like lightning. With his free arm he waved while yelling:

"See you later, then!!!!"

Sasuke didn't even bother following. It wasn't worth his time. Or for that matter, effort. He jumped into the nearest tree and waited.

**9:00 A.M.**

**The Bridge**

"…hello…?" Naruto offered a third time. Still no answer. He put his hands on his hips irritably.

"Okay, guys. This isn't funny. I know you're out there!"

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

…

"…or maybe they're not hiding. Maybe they've been captured by a group of sock-stealing ninja that only I can save them from!!! Maybe…!"

Sasuke figured this would be the best time to reveal himself. Before things got out of hand. Naruto thought this would be a good time to practice glaring.

"…or maybe Sasuke was sitting in the tree the entire time hoping I would continue talking to myself because he found it amusing."

"Dobe. You're three hours late for the mission."

"Three hours? I THOUGHT I WAS ONLY TWO!!!"

"Nope, three."

"Are you serious?"

"Yes."

"Liar."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Nuh-uh."

"Yah-huh."

"Yes, I am."

"No, you're not!"

…

…

…

"Aww, Geez! I can't believe I fell for that!!!" Naruto wailed. Sasuke smirked. Not the smirk that annoyed Naruto, but the smirk that made Naruto want to eat his soul and throw his physical remains to a group of rats that had been fed meat. Naruto sighed.

"So, what exactly is the mission?"

"You don't know?"

"Don't answer a question with a question! Where are we going and what are we doing and why?"

"We're going to the land of dirt to-"

"Sorry. The land of what?"

"Dirt."

"Are you serious?"

"As a heart attack."

Now Naruto was pretty dense, but he knew that heart-attacks weren't supposed to be a laughing matter….but dirt? Come on, who would name their village after what little boys dare each other to eat, the same stuff that most animals leave their waste, the land where----

"Naruto, I know what you're thinking. It's named the land of dirt because it's the farming capital of the world."

"Really? Does that mean there are cows there?"

"Yes."

"What kind of cows?"

"Dairy cows."

"WELL WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?!? LET'S GET A MOOOOVE ON!!!"

"Dobe."

"DON'T CALL ME THAT TEME!!!"

And with that, they set off.

**

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

SJ: So, you like? This is my first fanfic, so reviews would be nice. Just nothing mean, okay?

Somerandomperson: bursts through the wall DRINK MILK!

SJ: turns to Somerandomperson Why?

Somerandomperson: BECAUSE ALL OF THOSE GOT MILK COMMERCIALS SHOW FAMOUS PEOPLE WITH MILK MOUSTACHES!

SJ: Good point. walks over to the refrigerator empties milk carton in thirty seconds thumbs up THAT'S SOME GOOD STUFF!!! DRINK MOO JUICE!

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	2. Sasuke gets mad

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

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SJ: Now, people. I believe I'll add to this story once a-

Arandomhobo: bursts through the wall screams DO YOU HAVE ANY MILK?!?

SJ: Throws a giant block of cheese at Arandomhobo

Arandomhobo: falls backwards out of window screams Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuu

SJ: sits back down …I forgot what I was going to say…shrugs Oh, well! Without further ado, let's begin!!

Oh, wait! I remember n-

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**10:00 P.M.**

**On the Road**

They had only been walking for about an hour, but it felt like an eternity to Sasuke. Every time he thought Naruto would finally shut up, he proved him wrong. Again and again and again. He felt a headache coming on.

"SSSSAAAASSSUUUUUKKKEEE" Naruto whined.

"What?" Sasuke replied curtly. This was probably the seventeenth time Naruto discovered something new to complain about.

"Why haven't we caught up with Kakashi Sensei yet?"

"Because you stop to whine every five minutes!!!"

Sasuke didn't exclaim much. Not unless he was really, really annoyed. Naruto figured this would be a good time to shut up. Unfortunately, even when his better sense told him when to stop, that didn't mean he was about to listen. He glared at Sasuke who was picking up the pace.

"Geez. What got your knickers in a knot?" Sasuke ignored him and kept walking.

"What's the matter, cat got your tongue?" He taunted. Sasuke's fist clenched. Just one more little push and-

"Oh, poor baby. Is there somethi-" Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. He grabbed Naruto by the throat and held him against a tree, ready to punch his lights out if he dared to say another word. After a couple seconds of mutual death glares, Naruto's face became tinged somewhat blue. He took this as a warning and dropped the orange ninja on his back.

_Whoops. I guess I went a little too far. _

Naruto was, in fact, unconscious. Sasuke sighed and mumbling about Naruto's natural tendency to get in the way, tossed the blonde over his shoulder and kept walking. Somehow, Naruto's steady breathing calmed him down. In fact, he somewhat regretted almost killing him moments ago.

Almost.

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**7:00 P.M.**

**On the Road**

It was getting late and Kakashi Sensei and Sakura still weren't in sight. To make it worse, Sasuke was stuck carrying Naruto who was still unconscious. This wasn't a good day. As he kept walking, he noticed some lights ahead. Thinking it might be Kakashi and Sakura, he was inspired to speed up his pace.

What he came to however, was a house. Once he made out its general shape, he realized that there was a possibility of a genjutsu trick being played on him. He did the release sign several times (just to be sure) and discovered the house still there. Thinking he might get a good night's sleep before catching up with Sakura and Kakashi Sensei tomorrow, he approached the door of the little house and knocked.

Slowly, a pale white hand slid out of the crack of light to greet the darkness. Then the door swung open dramatically.

"SASUKE!!!" Sakura screeched as she jumped at him with her arms again outstretched. Sasuke finally had his chance. He dodged her and had the pleasure of watching her eat dirt. Kakashi's head peered around the doorframe.

"Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in. Sasuke and an unconscious Naruto. "What'd he do, talk so much that you decided to suffocate him to the brink of death?"

Sasuke didn't answer and Kakashi's jaw dropped. Sasuke sighed in agitation and walked into the house. Kakashi introduced their client to Sasuke and his unconscious partner.

"Well, howdy-do thar! Meh names Momo and you're-a-gunna be meh other escorts, I reckon'." She thrust her hand out to Sasuke, expecting a warm, friendly handshake. Sasuke stared at her as if she had rabies.

"What's the matter? Ya' look like a dried up tomater on a hot summer's day with that thar scowl o' yours!" She was attempting to sound friendly, but Sasuke continued staring at her blankly. Kakashi nudged him.

"Do I…know you…?" he ventured.

"Nope, I'm a-prudy sure ya don't." Was her reply. Sasuke looked around and then asked where she kept the beds. He wanted to set Naruto down and carrying him all day had him pretty beat. Momo obliged and showed them to their rooms.

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**5:00 A.M. **

**On the Road**

_Thump_

_Thump_

_Thump_

"Five more minutes." Naruto mumbled and slid deeper under the covers. The last thing on his agenda was waking up. Unfortunately, that was the first thing on someone else's.

"Naruto, get up. Get up or we're going to leave without you again" Kakashi's muffled voice was heard through the door. That's when something clicked.

"How did I get here?" Naruto asked the wall absentmindedly. Kakashi opened the door, ready to drag Naruto out of bed if he had to.

"Naruto, if you don't get out of bed, I'll--- Oh, I see. You're already up. Well, let's go." Kakashi skipped out of the door.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming Sensei." _Baka. _Kakashi's head came into view again.

"And for that one, no breakfast for you!" He stuck out his tongue and disappeared before Naruto could protest, or for that matter, ask how Kakashi Sensei could read his mind. Sighing, Naruto got up and walked outside.

It was bright and sunny. There was a huge covered wagon just outside the door. Kakashi was sitting in the front (apparently he was the driver), Sakura was sitting inside, and Sasuke was sitting in the back glaring at the sun for making it morning. But Naruto didn't notice any of this.

When he left the house, he found himself face-to-face with the scariest person he had ever met. He swore that she looked exactly like his sexy jutsu turned hillbilly. Two pigtails (only these were in braids), long blonde hair, and scratches on her cheeks (exactly like Naruto's). The only difference between the two was this girl had green eyes and instead of speaking seductively (like his imaginary girlfriend always did) she spoke like she just escaped the boondocks.

"Well, hay thar Nar-u-to!" she exclaimed. Naruto jumped back.

"How do you know my name…?" He asked with his voice wavering slightly.

"How could I not? You're the legendary-"

"Super Ninja destined to become Hokage?" Naruto interrupted

"That's not what that scary guy said." She replied

"Scary guy…?" Naruto pondered for a second. Then the name came to him.

"OHHH!!! YOU MEAN SASUKE!!!" he beamed.

"Yup, that sounds 'bout right."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Momo. Taika, Momo." She thrust her arm out to Naruto, hoping he wasn't going to 'shine her on' like Sasuke did. Luckily, he shook her hand.

"Nice to meet you! I'm-"

"I reckon' I already know yar name." Momo interrupted. Kakashi jumped off of the wagon and danced over to Momo. They whispered to each other for a moment and then both ran to the wagon. Momo sat in it with Sakura. Naruto sat in the back with Sasuke.

All was fine and dandy (with the exception of the thundercloud looming dangerously close to Sasukes' head. He just gave off that evil feeling today.)

"Ne, Sasuke?" Naruto ventured. Sasuke glared in reply.

"God! What are you looking at me like that for?!? You're the one that choked me, ya'know!"

"I only did to shut you up." Sasuke replied coldly.

"Nyah!" Naruto stuck out his tongue. Sasuke pinched it between his thumb and index finger smirking the smirk that made Naruto want to kill him.

"Wet wou of wy fung!" Naruto attempted (translation: Let go of my tongue!)

"I'm sorry; I'm having trouble understanding you. Could you maybe speak a little more clearly?" Sasuke replied hardly managing to hold back a full-fledged grin.

"WY WAID WET WOU OUF WY FUNG!!!" Naruto attempted to scream. Sasuke became somewhat bored and let go of Narutos' tongue.

"All you had to do was ask." Sasuke shrugged his shoulders innocently. Now it was Naruto's turn to glare.

**

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

SJ: unwraps Almond joy and shoves into mouth with a blank stare on face That's it for this week.

Somerandomsuicidalmaniac: Is that all? commits suicide

SJ: stares at audience leaves room crashes through the wall thumbs up DRINK MOO JUICE!!! leaves room


	3. Let's talk about Sasuke! Let's not

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)

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**

SJ: This was a sadly short chapter.

Bighappymaninthejungle: Ya think? HO HO HO!!! pats belly pleasantly

SJ: There's nothing pleasant about that.

Bighappymaninthejungle: glares at SJ Says you! I'll have you know my belly is very versatile! Did you know that if you apply pressure to one of my folds, it makes farting sounds?

SJ: YOU'RE KIDDING ME!!! THAT'S FRIGGIN' AWESOME!!! WHOOT!!! runs around room with arms above head screaming like a wild lunatic

Kakashi: poofs in grabs Bighappymaninthejungle poofs away

SJ: stops screaming looks around room Where did everybody go…? sly grin Heheheh…you know what this means…pulls a printer out of a drawer maniacal laughter

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**5:25 A.M.**

**On the Road**

"Sasuke and Naruto sure are quiet…" Sakura attempted. Momo ignored her and took a huge bite of her peach.

"Ne, Momo…?" she tried again.

"I wouldn't bet on it. Sasuke over thar just up an' grabbed poor Naruto's tongue. I think its a-gunna get real loud real fast." Momo observed. Sure enough, she was right.

"WY WAID WET WOU OUF WY FUNG!!!" Naruto wailed. It became quiet again. Momo took another bite of her peach. She leaned back on her elbow. Sakura, desperate for conversation tried one last time.

"Why are you ignoring me?" Momo looked over blankly and sighed.

"Ya know, when I first saw you, I thought 'well, thar goes a girl with some class' ya know what I mean? Anyways, you completely changed my mind when you tackled that Sasuke character out yonder." She pointed her thumb out back. Sakura was beginning to regret having tried talking to her.

"I mean, he obviously ain't interested. If 'e was, he'd-a been eatin' outta the palm of yar hand already." Sakura grew angry.

"What, and he's interested in you? Don't make me laugh! Why would MY Sasuke be interested in a freakish hillbilly like you?!?" Sakura screeched. Momo moved into a sitting position and finished her peach.

"Whoa, there. I suggest ya start-a retractin' them thar claws! You're liable to poke an eye out!" she giggled and continued.

"Nah, don't be worryin'. I ain't movin' in on yar territory there. Not interested in 'im in the least." Sakura immediately calmed down.

"In fact, I've already got me a mighty fine boyfriend o' my very own."

"Ooh, now I'm interested" Sakura pressed for gossip's sake.

"Ooh, now I'm-a-not interested in tellin' ya!" Momo laughed. This annoyed Sakura even more. Suddenly, a white puffball slid out of Momo's sleeve and shot up her arm. Momo looked over at it and smiled warmly.

"Well, hay there, Shiromaru! Want the pit? I know ya do!" Momo held the pit to the fuzzy creature. It was gone in a second. Sakura was in shock.

"W-what is that?" she finally managed. Momo beamed.

"Well, this here is a dog! Not just any dog mind you, a ninja dog! He can grow an shrink just like them TV characters!" Shiromaru chirped in reply.

"I dunno. It sounds an awful lot like a fuzzy bird like thing." Sakura cautiously eyed the creature.

"Well, I guess them ninja these days ain't as sharp as they used ta be." Momo observed casually.

"Well, maybe it looks nothing like a dog!" Sakura said attempting to bring back the ninja pride that Momo had stolen from her

"Ya ain't never heard of a pekingese?" Momo asked truly flabbergasted. Sakura shrugged indifferently. It was of no concern to her anyways. Dogs were Kiba's specialty. Not hers. Sakura looked at the crates her and Momo had been sitting on for the past forty-five minutes. They didn't have any labels on them.

"Hey, Momo?"

"Hm?"

"What exactly are we shipping to the land of dirt?"

"Peaches."

"Oh, is that your specialty at the Taika farm?"

"No."

"Really? Then what is?"

"Nothing. Not anymore. This is the last shipment of peaches Pa made before he was murdered."

"Murdered? The inspection papers said he died of a heart-attack."

"Oh? Then they didn't mention the poison?"

"Poison?"

"Ah, never mind. If it ain't on them thar public papers, then it ain't any business o' yours now, is it?"

"I guess not…" Sakura replied dejectedly. Then she thought of what she believed would surely be a subject starter.

"Hey, Momo?"

"Hm?"

"Does Sasuke like anyone?"

"I'd imagine so."

"Any idea who?"

"Yah, but ya wouldn't like it if I told ya."

"Tell me!"

"Hm…looks like we've stopped…" Momo observed (just for the sake of ending the conversation)

"Momo!"

"Hm?"

"Tell me, please?" but Momo was already out of earshot.

**

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Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

SJ: Well, there ends another chapter of happiness. Hoped ya like. Just to warn you, this is probably going to end up really long. Like eight thousand words long…and crappy. But if ya don't like, don't read! It's as simple as that!

Kate: You're no fun!

SJ: Where'd you come from? looking around somewhat mystified as to her previous location

Kate: Shut up.

SJ: points to self Me? Why?

Kate: I don't like big words.

SJ: Pulls out a bucket of Pixie Stix.

Kate: claps hands like a five-year-old and dances like a maniac

SJ: And now the fun begins…evil grin


	4. Henro the Cow

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

SJ: singing On the rooooaddd againnnnn. I can't wait to be on the rooooaddd againnnnn blah, blah, blah, blah, blah music with my frrriiieennddsss. I can't wait to be on the road aga---

Sasuke: runs into room dramatically with right arm in the air and the left one holding a karaoke machine starts singing Dragonstea Din Tea

SJ: joins in while grinning crazily at the finale of the song goes crazy and throws Sasuke out the window in joy looks out of the window with a really frightened look on face backs away slowly

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**6:00 PM**

**On the Road**

"So, what do you think we should do?" Kakashi asked Momo.

"Keep goin'. What else can we do?" Momo asked in reply.

"But if we keep going, this cow's going to die. You know that, right?"

"Then get them lazy-ass ninja boys off their lazy asses and make them pull the damn thing!" Momo exclaimed and pointed out back. Kakashi sighed.

"I give up." He mumbled.

"Naruto, Sasuke. Come over here." Kakashi called them over. They obliged.

"Yeah?" Naruto asked thinking he somehow managed to get himself into trouble again. Sasuke, although he wouldn't admit it, thought the same and casually walked over.

"You, my little gennin, have just won the jackpot!" Kakashi said enthusiastically.

"YOU MEAN IT?!?" Naruto screamed excitedly. Sasuke knew better.

"What do you want?" He asked while shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Oh, Sasuke. You always ruin the fun of it all!" Kakashi whined.

"Humph."

"Fine, fine. You two have the honor of pulling the cart for another seventeen miles!" Kakashi patted the saddles while laughing maniacally. This was going to be fun.

"I'm not putting that on!" Naruto screeched. Simply put, there was no way. Kakashi Sensei might be their teacher, but he wasn't getting him into a harness. Never.

"Naruto's right. You're not getting us into harnesses no matter how hard you try." Kakashi sighed. Sometimes kids were just so dense. Even Sasuke, the great Uchiha.

"I wasn't referring to you two wearing the harnesses. You need to set the cow free first. Then you remove the harnesses, then you pull the wagon like a wheelbarrow!" Kakashi explained not even attempting to look amused this time (but he did make wheelbarrow motions with his hands on impulse). It just wasn't worth his precious time. The time he should be spending reading Make-out Paradise.

As if on cue, Kakashi removed the book from his pocket and alighted on top of the wagon. Naruto and Sasuke looked pleadingly at Momo, but it fell on blind eyes. She was preoccupied with running in circles with a strange puffball that made funny noises.

* * *

**9:14 A.M.**

**On the Road**

"Naruto, are you done yet?" Sasuke sighed irritably. Naruto shot a glare in Sasuke's general direction and turned back to Henro the cow.

"Its' okay, Henro. Sasuke didn't mean that. He meant we can spend all the time we want before I have to release you into this cruel, cruel world." He cooed as he patted the cow reassuringly. Over the course of four hours Naruto could have sworn that he and the cow shared a special bond. Sasuke thought so too. The bond of stupidity. In a poof of smoke, Kakashi appeared in front of Naruto and Henro.

"Naruto, If you don't release that cow into the 'cruel, cruel world', then I'm going to have to eat it." He said nonchalantly and winked.

"W-wh-WHAT?!?" Naruto screeched.

"If I have to repeat myself, the cow gets it." The grey haired man held a kunai knife to Henros' throat. He meant business and Naruto knew it.

The orange-clad ninja dramatically buried his face into his sleeve while muttering an apology for what he had to do to get the cow to leave (slap its' rear end) but once his face came into full view again, Henro was gone. (Butt slapping not included.)

Never to be seen again...

* * *

**12:17 P.M.**

**Lunch**

"Hey you two. You can stop now. It's time to eat." Kakashi yelled so everyone could hear. It, by no means, fell on deaf ears. In fact, before he finished with stop, Naruto had dropped his side of the wagon and jumped into the covered shelter to eat. Leaving Sasuke with a four-ton wagon to carry. Needless to say, even the infamous Uchiha heir collapsed as soon as Naruto had dropped his half of the burden. He cursed under his breath. _Gee, thanks Naruto. What a way to treat your so-called 'friend'. _As if on cue, Naruto jumped out of the wagon carrying both his and Sasuke's lunch.

"Hey Sasuke. Why are you lying on the ground?" Naruto asked while leaning over Sasuke. His little blonde spikes bobbing just barely into Sasuke's peripheral vision.

"I'm lying here because I like the smell of dirt." Sasuke replied curtly. Naruto decided to lie down too, apparently not catching the sarcasm is Sasuke's remark.

"It smells bad." He mumbled after a couple seconds and sat up.

"No duh." Sasuke replied, snatching his lunch from Naruto to examine its contents. Naruto looked into his bag too.

"OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!" Naruto screamed. Sasuke looked over slightly startled.

"What?"

"THERE'S INSTANT RAMEN IN MY LUNCH BAG!!!" Naruto triumphantly showed off his prize. Sasuke sighed irritably then looked into his bag. _Wow. Who knew I liked sushi?_ He asked himself. Naruto leaned over.

"Watcha got?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'm a deprived child." Sasuke said sarcastically and withdrew the bag from Narutos' line of vision. Naruto caught the sarcasm this time.

"No, seriously. What'd you get?"

"Sushi."

"Isn't that your favorite food?"

"Who told you that?"

"You."

"Humph. I don't remember."

"And you call me dobe!" Naruto joked. Sasuke caught the joke but chose to glare nonetheless. That was the Sasuke word and nobody else's. Nobody did it justice like him.

For once, Sasuke had a pretty quiet lunch. Naruto whined for a little bit once he realized there was no way to make ice cold creek water warm, but Sasuke defied the laws of nature and used his fire style jutsu to heat up the ramen just enough to make it edible. Naruto claimed that Sasuke was a god and devoured it in record time. Once the savage beast known as Naruto's belly quieted down, the blonde laid on his back and cradled his head on his hands. It was so serene that afternoon that Sasuke wasn't too surprised that Naruto had fallen asleep. Once he finished eating, he looked down at Naruto. He looked so peaceful. This was a good day. Even in his book.

* * *

**12:30 P.M.**

**Lunch**

"I say we kill them now." Mysterious man 2

"No. Not yet, we haven't discovered the secret ingredient yet." Mysterious man 1

"Why can't we just capture the girl and torture her until she gives in?" Mysterious man 3

"Will you shut up? I already thought of that with my superior to Kakashi ninja skills. It won't work." Mysterious man 1

"Why not?" Mysterious man 3

"Will you shut up? You never learn anything from talking! Just listening. Now, listen to me while I describe in excruciating detail my ingenious plan." Mysterious man 1

"But why won't it work?" Mysterious man 3

"Because, you fool. Hillbilletta would die before she gives in to torture." Mysterious man 2

"Oooohhhhh. I get it now." Mysterious man 3

"Ingenious." Mysterious man 2

"You'll say ingenious once you listen to my plan, now shut up!!!" Mysterious man1

"Yes sir!" Mysterious man 2

"Yes sir." Mysterious man 3

"Okay, when they're eating dinner, we sneak up on them and threaten Pinky with murder in front of the rest of the ninja. Of course, it will be my honor in battling Kakashi to the death (which naturally, I will win because I am the superior of the two of us). You will tie up the boys and you, mysterious man 3, will interrogate them (just to find out what they know of us.) and mysterious man 2, it will be your honor to run off both with Hillbilletta and Pinky. It's ingenious. We can't lose." Mysterious man 1

"I have a question." Mysterious man 2

"What is it?" Mysterious man 1

"Who is hillbilletta, who is pinky, and why do you keep calling us weird names? I don't wanna be Mysterious man 2!" Mysterious man 2

"It's a secret identity. If he calls you anything else, our village's tracker ninja might discover us and kill us." Mysterious man 3

"Thank you, Mysterious man 3." Mysterious man 1

**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

SJ: blankly staring at the readers

Henro: blankly staring at the readers

SJ: Blankly staring at the readers

Henro: Blankly staring at the readers

SJ: Blankly Staring At The Readers

Henro: Blankly Staring At The Readers

SJ: BLANKLY STARING AT THE READERS

Henro: BLANKLY STARING AT THE READERS

SJ: BLANKLYSTARINGATTHEREADERS

Henro: BLANKLYSTARINGATTHEREADERS blinks

SJ: jumps around happily while pointing and laughing I WIN!!!

Henro: blankly staring at the readers


	5. Mysterious Men

SJ: Okay, Mofos. Let's get this show on the road!

…

…

…

…

Cue lightbulb overhead Oh! That's right! Idontownnarutooranyofthatgoodstuffsoyeahdonteventhinkaboutsayingidookay…

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

**Dinner **

"YAY!!! FOOD!!!" Naruto screamed while running into the covered wagon. After such a long days work, it was amazing that Naruto still had so much energy to spare. But, then again, nobody ever accused him of being lazy…Sasuke paused for a moment to examine his surroundings. It was nearing winter, so at six o'clock, it was already getting dark. As if on cue, a cold breeze whispered a warning to Sasuke. A warning that he would not have heeded had he not seen three figures rush into the tent. _Aw, shit. _He thought. _I knew this day was just too good to be true! _And with that, he ran towards the wagon.

As he walked in, he didn't notice anything different. Which was scary. If someone was taking the form of his companions, they did a flawless job. Upon his entrance, Naruto looked up and grinned his usual grin.

"Hey, Sasuke! Sit down, Sakura has an announcement and she wanted you to hear it." He patted the peach box next to him. Sasuke reluctantly sat down and glared at Sakura. _What, you want to proclaim your undying love to me again? Not interested. _He scoffed. Sakura twiddled her thumbs for a moment as if she wasn't sure how to put what she wanted to say into words. She then decided and cleared her throat.

"I've decided that I don't like Sasuke anymore. Now Naruto, don't get your hopes up. I don't like you either. I like Rock Lee." Everyone's jaw dropped simultaneously. This was surely a new twist. Sasuke smirked. _Thank god that's over with. _He thought. Naruto became depressed but claimed that he was just really, really happy for her. After all, Lee had said he'd wait an eternity if he had to. Momo patted Sakura on the back reassuringly. And Kakashi left the wagon to urinate. However, when he came back in, he was carrying three ninja above his head, unconscious, and tied up. Everyone gasped.

"Who are those guys?!?" Naruto screamed while pointing at the mysterious ninjas.

"I don't really know." Kakashi mumbled then set the three down in a corner of the wagon. He walked outside for a moment and came back with a bucket of ice-cold creek water. He poured it on the men to wake them up. They all screamed like little boys being chased by cootie-infested girls. Then, once realizing the situation they were in, Mysterious man 1 figured that, in being the leader, it was his obligation to fabricate a truly fantastic story that team seven would have no choice but to believe. He then changed his mind and screeched at Kakashi.

"How did you see through our ruse?" Kakashi put his face very close to the other mans' and smirked (although you couldn't see it through his mask).

"Come on, a barrel with rocks on it in the middle of the road? That's a little uncommon, don't you think?"

"You were just lucky, Kakashi. This will never happen again! I will get revenge for that fateful incident!!!" the man wailed. Kakashi blinked.

"How do you know my name?"

"What? You mean you still don't remember us?"

"Nope. Can't say that I do. Well, actually I can, but then I would be lying." The man sighed and told mysterious man 3 to tell the story for him.

"Boss was asking a woman for her hand in marriage one day, when you broke the romantic setting and humiliated us. Yadda, yadda, yadda. We swore we'd have our revenge. Yadda, yadda, yadda. You defeated us at a farm. Yadda, yadda, yadda. We ran away again. Yadda, yadda, yadda. The end." Everyone stared at him. It was obvious what question kept rattling in their heads. _Are these men insane?_ Kakashi picked the tied men up, walked outside and came back in alone. Everyone looked at him as if to ask what he had done. He shrugged his shoulders apparently wishing to save the story for another time.

About a week later, a wandering merchant heard three men screaming in the tree up above him. They were saved, and promised to be the man's slaves for the rest of his life (which ended up being a long time).

* * *

**2:14 P.M.**

**Saying Goodbye**

It was the day after Kakashi made the three mysterious men disappear. Since four A.M., Sasuke and Naruto had been forced to drag the peach wagon the last couple of miles down the road. Fortunately for the last time. By noon, they had arrived to the land of dirt. Shockingly, all of the dirt in the land of dirt was covered by something. Usually grass, or flowers, or in some spots, snow. It was a pretty little village nestled in-between two hellish mountains (at least, this was the description Naruto and Sasuke would've given). It took them a couple hours, but once team seven set up the wagon for the distribution of the peaches, people started flocking over. It was now time to leave

"I'm going to miss you!!!" Sakura sobbed while hugging her newfound friend close to her. Momo made gagging sounds and backed away.

"Yup, I'll miss ya too. Be sure ta drop me a line once awhile!" she exclaimed as she traded peaches for money and waved goodbye to everyone in team seven.

"Aww, Kakashi Sensei! We just got here! Can't we stay a little while longer?" Naruto whined. Kakashi kept his eyes focused on the road ahead of him and explained why they had to go back immediately as opposed to staying and having fun in the new surroundings. By the time he finished listing everything off, everyone decided that if they stopped arguing with him, they might not get to stay, but they wouldn't have to listen to their sensei blabber on and on for no apparent reason.

After a couple hours of walking across the path, Naruto claimed to hear footsteps up ahead. Everyone ducked into the bushes just to be safe, and Sasuke was sent to scout out the road ahead. He came back with news that it was just a man. Nothing suspicious. Just as they all got out of the bushes, the man waved kindly at them and stopped to talk.

"Ya know, it's snowing real hard the way you're goin'." He said and pointed towards team seven's destination.

"Oh, really? How bad?" Kakashi asked, apparently unfazed by weather under 30°.

"About three feet and comin' down purdy heavy." The man said. Kakashi smiled under his mask.

"Oh, is that all. Well, thank you for your concern, but we're Konohagure ninja."

"What, ninja don't get sick?" the man asked.

"Not real ninja." Kakashi laughed. The man caught his joke and laughed as well.

"Well, I'd best get a move on. My chillun' are out playin' down by the mill." The man explained as he bade team seven farewell. Out of the kindness of this jolly man's heart, he provided team seven with a basket full of delicious looking food.

**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

SJ: mumbles incoherently

Door: knock knock

SJ: suddenly becomes attentive Is that a knock at the door? goes to answer it door falls on SJ. fireman runs into the room

Fireman: runs into the room looks around looks under feet to see a pathetic looking blonde girl lifts up the door Are you okay, miss?

SJ: Smiles innocently Oh, yes Mr. Fireman. I'm fine.

Fireman: That's good to hear. looks around room mumbles to self Where's the fire…?

SJ: blank stare points out the window Over the river and through the woods.

Fireman: Removes SJ's bed sheets, ties them around neck and leaps out of the window screaming something about grandmothers falls five flights cape snags on bottom branch unties cape falls seven more feet and lands on feet darts towards the river

SJ: staring out of the window So…I'm not the only one who does that…


	6. A handful of vomit

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

* * *

SJ: dancing with an innocent Teddybear

Teddybear: Goes rabid and attacks SJ

SJ: AHH!!! MY EYES!!! Puts hands over eyes

Teddybear: backs away slowly

SJ: uncovers eyes and grins evilly Heheh…You're not going to get away with that as easy as you thought, Teddy!!!

Teddy: But I didn't do anything.

Teddybear: jumps out of hiding place That's right, It was me! points to self

SJ: shocked Why, Teddybear? I thought we shared an everlasting bond! starts crying dramatically

Teddybear: The truth, SJ is…I'm in love with Teddy. I always have been and I always will be. I shall be your Teddybear no more after this day. wraps plushy arm around Teddy's waist places middle finger and index finger to forehead and teleports away

SJ: looks up from crying stares at the audience I sense a Dragon Ball Z Joke coming on!!!

* * *

**(The next morning)**

**7:00 A.M.**

**In the snow on the road**

Kakashi wanted more than ever to turn back, however he couldn't. If he did, then Naruto and Sasuke would never let him live it down. The snow level was three feet and falling fast. Yet, somehow, his overactive gennin were having fun. It was beyond him. He stopped for a moment and watched.

Sasuke was walking atop the layers of snow claiming to be doing a new chakra exercise. Kakashi, being the wise sensei that he was, knew that even though Sasuke was scowling at his teammates as they threw snowballs at each other, he really wanted to join in too. Unfortunately for the Uchiha genius, he was having some trouble thinking of some sort of justification to joining in with his 'overly immature and otherwise pompous' friends. Kakashi sighed. Sometimes kids were just so stupid. He generated a clone and sent it tunneling through the snow banks straight towards Naruto.

It was amazing that Sasuke never saw it, the hand that was right next to Narutos' foot. The hand that really did launch a snowball at the unsuspecting Uchiha. It hit him square in the face. He turned towards Naruto just as the clone disappeared.

"You are so…" Sasuke grumbled as he glared at the obviously confused orange-clad ninja. Naruto stopped compacting his snowball and blinked a couple of times.

"DEAD!" Sasuke yelled as he launched a snowball at Naruto. Unfortunately, Naruto dodged it. On the bright side, however, Sakura was right behind him. She ended up with an eyeful of snow. Sasuke almost laughed. Almost.

"Naruto! Don't send your clones to throw snowballs at me! That's cheating!" She lectured, wagging her finger. Her fingers' course was abruptly halted by another snowball heading her way. This one hit her on her forehead…

And stuck…

That was it; even the great Uchiha heir couldn't help cracking up. There was Sakura, just standing there with the most confused look on her face. And…a…huge…snowball frozen to her oversized forehead. It was too good to ignore. Naruto blinked a couple of times, apparently taking in the odd view. Sasuke laughing and Sakura trying to remove a huge ball of ice from her forehead. It didn't take him long to realize that this was funny, and he was soon rolling on the snow bank laughing like a madman.

Sasuke was laughing so hard that he didn't notice that he was dangerously close to rolling off of a small cliff and into some freezing cold water. That is, until he fell.

Naruto was awakened from his stupor of laughing when he heard a loud splash. He sat up, wiped the tears from his eyes and crawled to the general area of the sound. He too, didn't notice the edge of the cliff and fell.

Luckily, Naruto's time spent with Jiraya was not in vain, and he landed on the water instead of in it. He looked under him to see an Unconscious Sasuke sinking into the depths of the lake. Without thinking, he dove in.

_Damn it, Sasuke_._ Stay conscious_._ Just move your legs you fool. Aw, shit_._ Don't try to breathe_. _There is no air here_._ Don't breathe… Don't…air? How did…?_ Sasuke opened his eyes. Slowly his mind processed the images around him. He was in his room. Not in the snow. _How did I…?_ He wondered to himself as he sat up. Right next to him was Naruto. He was sitting on a chair, sleeping soundly. Sasuke blinked a couple of times trying to understand why 'Dobe' was there, but to no avail. He poked the blonde's shoulder just enough to wake him up without scaring him.

Naruto blinked a couple of times and his lethargic manner dissolved when he noticed that Sasuke was finally awake.

* * *

**6:00 P.M.**

**Momo's House**

"Naruto, where am I…?" Sasuke trailed off as he looked around the room.

"We're back at Momo's house! After your little incident…"

"What incident?"

"Let me finish!"

"Fine." Sasuke scoffed.

"You fell off of a cliff and crashed through a really thick sheet of ice and almost drowned. But don't worry! We saved you!" Naruto added in.

"Who saved me?" Sasuke pressed. Just then, Sakura and Kakashi opened the door and peeped in. Sasuke was awake and apparently fine. Sakura squealed in delight and almost suffocated Sasuke with the sheer power of her self-proclaimed love. Once she let go, Sasuke gave her a long, hard stare and asked again.

"Who saved me?"

"Well…uhm…It was me! Sasuke-kun! You see, I used my medical jutsu to get you to start breathing again and everything!" She blurted out. Kakashi glared at her then turned towards Sasuke (who was thoroughly disgusted).

"Don't worry, Sasuke. Sakura didn't see you or save you, In fact, she was so busy creating snow angles that she didn't even notice that you were missing in the first place! Therefore, she did not have the opportunity to save you." Sasuke sighed a sigh of relief then looked at Kakashi square in the eye.

"Who saved me?" He asked, this time in monotone. He looked over at Sakura and Naruto. The blonde one raised his hand meekly. Sasuke looked at him now.

"Why?"

"Well…you weren't breathing so…uh…yeah!" Naruto blushed.

"No, I asked why you saved me, not referring to my physical state, dobe." Naruto blinked then blushed a little deeper.

"Because you're my friend, even if you are Sasuke-teme." He finally replied.

_Naruto…I'm your friend…? I thought you hated me…ow… my stomach…what's wrong with it? It feels like…it's on fire…MY STOMACH'S ON FIRE!  
_

"Naruto…MY STOMACH'S ON FIRE!" Sasuke yelled and began convulsing. Just then, Momo ran in and executed a couple of hand signs. Her hand began to glow with a soft blue light. Sakura gasped.

"Momo, you can use medical jutsu?" She asked hopefully. Kakashi covered her mouth and drug her out of the room. Once his hand was off of her mouth, she almost screamed.

"WHY DID YOU DRAG ME OUT OF SASUKE-KUN'S ROOM?!? I COULD HAVE HELPED!!!" Kakashi put a finger to his lips silently ordering her to quiet down. Luckily she complied and listened to his explanation.

"You'd only distract Momo. You know very well that things like that can distract a medical-ninja from their work. And you also know that being distracted in high-risk situations can be quite disastrous." Sakura nodded mechanically and sat on the couch. Suddenly, she clasped her hands together and prayed for the well-being of her beloved Sasuke-kun.

Meanwhile, in Sasuke's room…

"Naruto, I need you to hold Sasuke still, you got that?" Momo demanded. No was not an option. Naruto nodded slowly and held both of Sasuke's arms above his head with one hand and both of his feet with the other. Momo pushed her hands on Sasuke's stomach hard, causing him to cough up blood. Naruto gasped and looked to Momo worriedly. She hadn't broken her concentration and was still pushing hard on Sasuke's gut. Suddenly, even Naruto couldn't hold him down and he sat bolt upright and threw up all over the bed. After he finished, he collapsed again, this time his breathing was steady.

Momo bent down and examined the foul-smelling vomit with great interest and curiosity. Naruto, however, sat back on his chair and watched Sasuke blankly. Suddenly, Momo stood up, holding something triumphantly over her head.

"I've got it!" She exclaimed and pointed to her handful of vomit. Naruto looked over and grimaced.

"You've got what, a handful of vomit? Don't wanna see it." He turned back to Sasuke.

"No, Naruto. You really need to see this." She said seriously and walked closer to him. He looked at her handful of digestive enzymes among other things and looked at her blankly.

"It's throw-up. Woo-hoo."

"Naruto, I'm serious. Look at this. What did he eat?" Naruto looked at the vomit again.

"Looks like carrots." He observed. Momo almost screamed in joy.

"That's right, Naruto! See the discoloration in his vomit?"

"Yeah, so what about it?"

"This means he was allergic to it. It's amazing that it didn't kill him what with the incubation period and all. Did he eat carrots for lunch or something?" She asked as she went to wash her hands off in the sink.

"Hell, I don't know. I don't keep tabs on what he eats and what he doesn't eat." Naruto successfully replicated the Sasuke glare.

"Alright, I get it. You're not his mother. When he wakes up, be sure to tell him what happened though. We don't want another repeat." And with that, she left.

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

SJ: screams I'M THE QUEEN OF FRANCE!!! parades around room with bath towel tied around neck and a plastic tiara on head

Kate: holds up a bucket of pixie stixs laughs maniacally Guilty as charged!!!


	7. Sleeping tolerable sleep sleep sleep

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)

* * *

**

Policeofficer: Shines flashlight in Kate's face Where were you when the authoress stopped writing her last chapter?

Kate: shaking in rainboots I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i

Policeofficer: slaps Kate Get a hold of yourself!

Kate: places hand on foot

Policeofficer: smacks forehead that's not what I mea--

Kate: points with free hand WOW!!! YOUR FOREHEAD IS HUGE!!! IT'S ALMOST AS BIG AS BILBOARD BROWS!!!

Policeofficer: Covers forehead with hat clears throat Are you responsible for this? tosses picture to Kate who is sitting across the table

Kate: looks at picture eats it

Policeofficer: Why did you eat the picture?

Kate: So there would be no evidence. looks at officer with a creepy facial expression

Policeofficer: Why are you looking at me with a creepy facial expression?

Kate: No evidence…

Policeofficer: screams and runs for the door The Blob drops from the ceiling and eats him

Theblobpreacherman: walks into room God finally sent me a message.

Kate: pulls off face to reveal…

…

…

SJ

SJ: maniacal laughter

* * *

**4:15 A.M.**

**The Next Day…**

"Dobe, wake up." Naruto groaned and sat upright slowly. Thinking he was at home, sleeping on his own bed, he stretched out.

And fell off of the chair.

It took Sasuke all of his power to hold back a laugh, but he managed it. Naruto looked around in a bit of a daze. Slowly, his eyes wandered up to Sasuke sitting on the bed looking down at him.

"Oi, teme, watcha doin' in my room? It's the middle of the night, fool." He glared.

"I'm not in you're room, you're in mine." He replied calmly. Naruto looked around the dimly lit room and remembered everything that happened.

"Sasuke." He sat up and looked directly at Sasuke.

"What is it, dobe?" He asked.

"You are allergic to carrots." Naruto replied and fell over, the last moments of consciousness slipping away.

"Naruto!" He exclaimed and jumped to his feet, clutching his stomach. He checked Naruto's pulse. _That's fine_. _So are his pupils_. He checked his neck for swollen glands. _Slightly swollen, but nothing worth note_. _Does he have a fever? _Sasuke pressed his own forehead to Naruto's, hoping that he didn't. However, luck was not on his side. Poor Naruto had quite the fever. Sasuke guessed about 104.8°. This wasn't good.

He scooped up the smaller blonde and placed him on his bed and left to tell Momo.

"Whaddya mean Naruto's sick? Last I checked, you were the one bedridden, not 'im. Are you pullin' my leg?" Momo leaned in and examined Sasuke's face. He shook his head irritably and hustled into Naruto's room. Momo followed and examined the blonde.

"He's so hot. Probably got it when he dived into that water after you. Don't worry, I'll cook up some medicine and he'll be better in no time." She winked at Sasuke reassuringly (not flirtatiously) and left the room.

Now it was Sasuke's turn to sit at the bedside and watch his friend. _It's all my fault_._ I'm so sorry, Naruto_. _I shouldn't have fallen into that lake_. _I should've watched where I was going_._ I'm so sorry…_Suddenly; something warm entangled itself in Sasuke's hand. It was Naruto's. He looked down in shock.

"Its okay, Sasuke. I'll get better. It's just a cold. Don't beat yourself up, okay? I saved you because I wanted to. Not because I had to." Naruto smiled weakly at Sasuke. The raven-haired boy looked away from Naruto so he wouldn't see that he was about to cry. Had he been thinking aloud?

Just then, Momo walked into the room as Sasuke wiped away his tears. She stopped mixing her medicine and smiled at him warmly. She leaned in and whispered to him just quiet enough so Naruto wouldn't be able to eavesdrop.

"Don't worry, Sasuke. He'll be just fine. The medicine I'm about to give him should make him sleep for a couple of days, so you're in charge of feeding him, got that?"

Sasuke nodded as Momo coaxed Naruto do drink the foul-smelling liquid. He almost spat it back up, but eventually managed to hold it down.

Thirty minutes passed and Naruto was still conscious. He had somehow managed to keep holding Sasuke's hand the entire time without the raven pulling away. He looked over at Sasuke again and smiled weakly.

"Sorry I stole your bed, teme." He mumbled. Sasuke did one of his rare smiles. This one, however, was not in mockery, but in kindness.

"It's okay, dobe."

"Ya know what?"

"What?"

"You're really weird." Naruto furrowed his brows. Sasuke blinked and looked stupidly at Naruto.

"Really? How so?"

"You're usually really mean to me, but whenever I'm in trouble, you suddenly become so nice…I like you better when you're nice."

"Well…I think I'm going to take that as a compliment. Thanks, Naruto." His thanks fell on deaf ears. Naruto had finally fallen asleep. Sasuke looked at the blonde haired boy and smiled. He looked so innocent when he was sleeping.

He brushed his hair out of his eyes and watched him sleepily. Now it didn't seem so bad to be stuck with Naruto. He was much more tolerable when he was sleeping. Before he knew it, Sasuke had also fallen asleep.

* * *

**10:47 A.M.**

**Momo's House**

"Sasuke. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to wake up sooner or later." Momo said while tapping Sasuke's shoulders lightly. He slowly sat up and rubbed his eyes sleepily.

"What is it, Momo?" He asked and turned to her.

"I need you to feed Naruto for me."

"How do I do that? He's sleeping."

"I'll demonstrate, but just this once. After I do that, I have to finish cooking up a snack for everyone else." She slid her hand under Naruto's head and gently lifted it up. She took a spoonful of tomato soup and put his lips to the tip of it and drained the spoon into his mouth. She rubbed his throat and he swallowed.

"Easy as that. You got it, Sasuke?" She asked while looking at him. He nodded and demonstrated his knowledge to her. Satisfied, she left the room to prepare food for the rest of them.

Just as Sasuke finished, Kakashi walked in holding a bowl of oatmeal in each hand. He handed one to Sasuke who finished it in record time and turned back to Naruto.

"Eh…Sasuke?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you holding Naruto's hand?" Sasuke immediately dropped it and turned towards his Sensei, a light blush staining his cheeks.

"Well…I just thought that would be a nice thing to do."

"Naruto's unconscious." Kakashi pointed out bluntly. Sasuke's blush deepened.

"He grabbed my hand in the first place, so stop bugging me!" Sasuke exploded.

"Okay, okay! I get it! I was just kidding around! Sheesh!" Kakashi laughed and walked out of the room, bowels in hand. Sasuke looked down at his sleeping friend.

"Sorry about that, Naruto. About the screaming and everything." Needless to say, he was quite startled when the blonde stirred slightly and looked up at Sasuke.

"It's okay, Sasuke. I didn't get to sleep in the first place." He admitted sheepishly.

"You didn't?"

"Nope. I just couldn't for some reason."

"Then how come you didn't feed yourself?"

"You fed me?"

"Yes."

"Then maybe I slept a little bit after all…" Naruto sat up and stretched.

"Can you send Momo in here?"

"Uh…sure…just a minute…….Hey, Momo! Naruto's up. He wants to see you!" Sasuke called out over his shoulder. Within seconds, Momo was already in the room, checking Naruto's vitals.

"Incredible." She mumbled.

"What is?" Naruto and Sasuke asked in unison.

"Well, to be honest, you should have been sick for another week. My goodness, you ninja people sure are good at recuperation!" She laughed. Naruto scowled a scowl that would make most peoples' blood run cold. She stopped laughing.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"Ninja's don't get sick." Naruto replied seriously.

3…

2…

1…

"HAHAHAH!!! JUST KIDDING!!! AW, MAN! I REALLY HAD YOU THERE, DIDN'T I?!? AHAHAAA!!! THAT WAS GREAT! YOU TWO SHOULD HAVE SEEN THE LOOKS ON YOUR FACES!!! PRICELESS!!! ABSOLUTELY PRICELESS!!!" Naruto squealed and began jumping on the bed. Now it was the other two's turn to glare at him. But, in seeing Naruto bouncing off of the walls like a five-year-old, they too began laughing.

That is, until Sasuke started coughing.

The blonde looked at Sasuke, "OMYGODIDIDN'TGETYOUSICKDIDI!?!?" Naruto asked so fast Momo stared at him. (Translation: Oh My God I Didn't Get You Sick Did I?)

"What in tarnation you spoutin' out?" she asked. Naruto then picked Sasuke up and laid him in the bed he had been in. Of course, you can expect Sasuke struggled and sent many death glares to his friend.

Naruto frowned at the stubborn Uchiha, "You're staying in bed! You're sick I can tell!" the Kyuubi Vessel said almost in a pout.

Momo looked at Naruto in confusion, "Yeh certain'?" she asked.

"No! I mean Yeah! I mean… Oh Puck…"

"Puck…?"

"NEVER MIND JUST HELP TEME!!!"

* * *

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters (except the ones that may randomly burst through walls screaming about dairy products)**

SJ: I'm glad that's over with. turns on Naruto Ultimate Ninja (the first one) and begins buttonmashing

Somerandomnerdguy: bursts into room and picks up second controller and attacks a tornado

SJ: stands over an odd patch of ground

Oddpatchofground: turns into quicksand

Quicksand: sucks SJ up quickly

SJ: appears floating above a sand head and falls back into Quicksand four more times

Quicksand: turns into Oddpatchofground

SJ: stands on Oddpatchofground and changes playing field

Somerandomnerdguy: NO FAIR!! I HAVE LESS LIFE POINTS THAN YOU DO!!!

SJ: becomes slightly healed moves to foreground stands on water screams at top of lungs I'M CHAASEUS!!!

Somerandomnerdguy: latches onto tree

Tree: Ow…

SJ: runs across water to Somerandomnerdguy screams with arms outstretched I LOVES YOU!!!  
Somerandomnerdguy: throws kunai knives at SJ yells hoarsely Go away. Leave me alone. Dieee.

SJ: runs back to Somerandomnerdguy screams with arms outstretched BUT I LOVESSS YOUUU!!!  
Somerandomnerdguy: Throws shuriken at SJ yells hoarsely Go away.

SJ: dies of massive blood loss

SJ: Turns off playstation and beats up Somerandomnerdguy

Somerandomnerdguy: Grabs SJ's lunch pail and runs away

SJ: Screams in a fit of rage Turns towards computer screen mumbles something about an asterisked menace


End file.
